The Impact Listening Skills to Self-Disclosure In A Marital and Romantic Relationship

Relationships are strengthened by good communication. There are many aspects of communication that ultimately affect the quality of one’s relationships. It is of interest that we discover the impact of a certain communication skill on relationships. This essay also deals with the effect of listening skills on the quality of marital and mature man-woman relationships. Having all other factors constant this essay deals only with the effect of listening skills on the relationship quality of the individuals in a marital and romantic relationship.The settings for each relationship is unique therefore the degree of communication skill needed for the relationship varies. Before going into the details, we must first define the factors involved in the relationships mentioned. These factors are: the listening skills of the individuals involved in a marital and romantic relationship. As Pickering (1981) notes, listening skills are of the most important communication skills needed, to hav e a good relationship. Next is the relationship quality which is defined as the value or worth of the relationship (Mie, 2005).Lastly, relationship, a term that widens in scope as people wander to different aspects of interpersonal relationships, is taken into consideration (Zuroff & Neil, 1999). The researcher chose to focus on two similar relationship settings, which are the marital and mature man-woman romantic relationship. Hence, this essay focuses on the evidences that prove the positive impact of good listening skills on the practice of self-disclosure of the individuals in a marital and romantic relationship. Impact 3 Listening Skills Studies show that the impact of communication, specifically listening skills in relationships is immense.One must chose the right communication tool to improve ones relationships. Studies show that people who influence us are those who are active listeners (Pickering 1981). A study was done comparing the difference between couples who undergo c ommunication program and those who didn’t. Results showed that those who undergo the communication program to enhance their communication skills have a higher tendency of success in their relationships in the long run compared to those who did not undergo the program (Yalcin & Karahan, 2007).One of the most important aspects of communication is the listening skills. According to White (2006), good communicators are emphatic listeners who apply effective listening in relationships. Individuals in the relationships should be good communicators. There is a difference between hearing and listening. Hearing only deals with the physical processes as one hears sounds from the environment, while listening engages the individual to empathize with the speaker in terms of the emotions and opinions behind the words spoken.Shepherd (2007) notes that most of the marriage failures happen because of the lack of communication. We can attribute the lack of communication also with the lack of l istening skills in the relationship. Programs to improve communication between individuals in relationships, especially marital relationships, exist to help couples improve their relationship by increasing their communication skills. These programs prove to be helpful in terms of the self-disclosure that happens between individuals in relationships thus the relationship develops (Riesch, et al, 2003). Impact 4Relationship Quality Quality in this context means the satisfaction or value of the relationship which is translated as the openness of the persons involved in the relationship. The increase of value the individuals give to others the relationship improve the quality of their relationship. Studies confirm that relationships increase in value as the individuals in it improve their communication skills (Yalcin & Karahan, 2007). Self-disclosure is in effect one of the aspects that determine relationship quality, in this context- in the marital and romantic relationship.Dion (1998) , conducted a study showing that people who are secure in their relationships, practicing higher self-disclosure with other individuals, have higher relationship satisfaction as compared to those who are insecure or those who lack close communication, self-disclosure with their partners. This study tells us that self-disclosure does not only improve the relationship of the individuals per se, but also improves ones self-image. This can be seen when self-disclosure is practiced and individuals in the relationship affirms the other, thus improving ones self-image and improved communication in the relationship.Mie (2005) further asserted that self-disclosure is also defined as willingness of persons to confide or be open to other individuals. It can then be acknowledged that good self-disclosure in a relationship increases its value, and improves ones self-image in the relationship. And in relations this, listening skills are clearly needed to have good self-disclosure. As self-disclos ure deals with the openness of individuals in a relationship, listening skills are needed to have effective self-disclosure between individuals.Self-disclosure is thus, one of the most important factors affecting the quality of close relationships (Levinger & Rands, 1985). Impact 5 Relationships There are many aspects that may affect relationships. The relationships taken into consideration in this essay are the marital and romantic relationship. Studies show that relationship between parents or couples is one of the most important factors that improve the relationship of the family as a whole, thus the first influence that affects the family relationship is the parents (Riesch, et al, 2003).The relationship between the husband and wife will greatly determine the relationship established in the family. It is crucial for the parents to have a solid, healthy relationship, with the assumption that they have children in the family. Parrott (1995) stated that couples who listen intently at each others opinions and ideas will strengthen the relationship. The more couples practice listening, self-disclosure is easier therefore the relationship will grow (Jorgensen & Gaudy1980).In Parrott’s book, a couple cited tips on how to develop relationship with one another- this was to actively listen to each other. As mentioned above hearing and listening are different concepts. Listening must be practiced in relationships for it to develop. In the romantic relationship between a male and a female, the factors that affect their relationship are somehow similar to that of a marital relationship. The difference may be with the external factors of the relationship.Marital relationships involve external influences: such as conjugal responsibilities of their direct family, financial factors, and others. Zuroff & Duncan (1999) conducted a study about the effect of self-disclosure in college students in romantic relationships, and found out that they are largely influenced by their peers, and unpredictable emotions cause them to easily change their minds about relationships. Thus in this type of relationship, there is a greater need to apply listening skills, to improve the quality of their relationships. Impact 6The same principles of listening skills can be applied for both marital and adult man-woman romantic relationship, to directly improve their self-disclosure and their relationship as a whole. There are many benefits for a healthy relationship between couples and romantic relationships alike. A study even shows how good relationship affects the physiological well-being of the persons in the relationship (Yalcin & Karahan, 2007). Conclusion We have already established the importance of communication skills and its direct effect on relationship quality in marital and romantic relationships as have been mentioned in this essay.Evidences were given to prove the importance of these factors in relation to the marital and adult man-woman romantic relati onships. Based on the studies shown, communication skills, specifically listening skills, have a direct relationship with the quality of the marital and romantic relationship, where as the listening skills improve, so does the practice of self-disclosure in the said relationships. We can also conclude that increased self-disclosure in a relationship improves its value, therefore the relationship develops.Self-disclosure also has positive effects on the individual practicing it, where self-image can be improved compared to those who don’t practice it. Thus, self-disclosure affects not only the relationship at large, but also the individuals practicing it in the relationship. Lastly, relationships in the marital and romantic settings are different in external influences but similar in the need for effective listening skills that causes good self-disclosure in the relationship.